My marriage with Stella is all I can think of. I was bound to commit my life to her, and I promised always to be there whenever she needed me. I was proud of myself for providing her everything she desired. I was confident that I could protect her from any harm that may come along the way. But just years ago, I failed.
How It All Started
My wife experienced a miscarriage, and it entirely affected our relationship. She suddenly changed into someone I never thought she could be and it made me question my capabilities as a husband. She was devastated and depressed, and I couldn’t do anything about it. Her silent treatments and actions were putting our marriage on the rocks. She isolated herself and shut me out. She seemed to look at people in a different view. She struggled because she emotionally felt alone and she even tried committing suicide. That was the triggering point. I knew that I had to take control and do something to bring my wife back.
I wanted my wife to travel the mental health recovery road that’s why I asked her to undergo psychotherapy. According to Bruce Wampold, PhD, “Every treatment provides an explanation for the distress that is adaptive – that is, the patient understands that he or she can do something to improve his or her situation. This leads the patient into healthy actions in that the psychotherapy improves some aspect of their lives, whether it is thinking more positive thoughts, creating better relationships, more appropriately expressing emotions, or enacting other positive changes.”
Good thing she agreed with me and started the session right away. The therapist found out that she is under the pressure of having an extreme mental case of depressive disorder that needs to be assisted as soon as possible. From there, we managed to attend multiple therapy sessions. I admit that the process is taking so long so I have decided that I needed to change some things that can positively support the progress of psychotherapy.
Along with Stella’s twice-a-week session with the therapist, we incorporated a holistic approach to our lives. We tried to change our lifestyle by eating a lot of healthier foods such as vegetables and fruits instead of spending time taking out fast food orders. According to Douglas LaBier, PhD, “A study from Loma Linda University found that adults who consumed more unhealthy food were also more likely to report symptoms of either moderate or severe psychological distress than their peers who consumed a healthier diet.”
We learned to cook nutritious meals that can provide us with all the nutrients we needed to sustain a healthier body. We removed toxic things in our house, and we always kept things clean. We eventually practiced meditation every morning so we could feel the positive energy that we needed for the day. “Meditation is a process by which people learn to focus their attention as a way of gaining greater insight into themselves and their surroundings,” wrote Jeffrey E. Barnett, PsyD, ABPP, and Allison J. Shale, MS. We also made time for exercise and always do it together. We made sure that we’re constantly there for each other.
It was amazingly incredible. The months of psychotherapy sessions together with the holistic approach made my wife glow and happy again. She became more positive about life and saw things from a different perspective. She managed to pull herself out from her comfort zone and started appreciating life once again. She became extremely confident about the trials she may face along the way. She was more lively and cheerful compared before. Her depression vanished as if it never happened. She became emotionally strong and determined that she can do anything. She became more of a fantastic woman.
The months of devastation were finally over, and I’m proud to say that my wife made it. Up to this point, she is now a better version of herself, and I’m happy that it turned out great. Now the least of a problem that I can think of is finding a cute name for our soon-to-be baby boy.