In a relationship, we often try to understand the degree of emotional attachment we have for a person. In most cases, we wrongfully identify our feelings and end up not realizing it at all because we try to insist on things that don’t fit into the description of how we are supposed to feel and that’s why we either get hurt or hurt others.
To be able to identify the stages of our emotional maturity, here are the top four essential details.
Infatuation – When we discover something that satisfies our desire or makes us feel good about ourselves, we tend to have an infatuation. It is a type of emotional attachment that we instantly feel for others. However, the downside of experiencing an obsession is that it blinds us to see only the positive things in a person. It somehow creates an ‘almost’ ideal perfect environment where we only care about what that exact feeling can give us. In extreme cases, people who are deeply infatuated tend to do things that they weren’t supposed to because of that strong will of getting what they want. “No matter how good the match, the strong sexualized draw of infatuation, even in the best of marriages, is only a temporary phenomenon associated with newness and insecurity,” writes Susan Heitler Ph.D.
Acceptance – The holistic view of acceptance in a relationship has something to do with how you value other people’s emotional well-being. It is a type of emotional attachment that lets you see both the negative and positive aspects of a person. It allows you to create fair judgment on whether to like or dislike a particular personality. Therefore, it helps you in identifying your preferences in that case. You’ll be able to understand the importance of balancing what you need to know and what you have to see.
Reflection – The process of the holistic approach of reflection is more of an exaggerated expansion of acceptance. It is when we appreciate the positive things about a person while embracing the negative ones. It gives us the privilege to respond to the negative aspects instead of alarmingly react unto it. It allows us to gain a better perception of diversity and uniqueness. We don’t see it as a threat to our personality but something that can make us understand how it can help in our emotional development as well. “emotional maturity lends itself to a more stable relationship, one in which partners feel more secure and connected to each other,” writes Rob Pascale Ph.D. and Lou Primavera Ph.D.
Connection – Our understanding when it comes to a relationship as far as balance is concerned, there are more significant details that it has to offer. The holistic view of connection does not only focus on emotional attachment but rather on your overall aspects. It is somehow responsible for you and your partners’ coinciding ideas, thoughts, spiritual relation and physical interaction that add significant value to your affection. “Figure out for yourself what you want to do. Next time your partner tries to convince you to do something you don’t want to, tell them…you just don’t want to, and convey what you do want to do instead,” writes Berit Brogaard D.M.Sci., Ph.D.
When we enter a relationship, we always try to understand how the process of understanding works. Sometimes it gives us a lot of emotional troubles, but that’s because we cannot identify the kind of emotional attachment that we’re going through.
The most important part of an emotional holistic view is the process of sustaining the bond between you and your significant other. Once we finally cater to the needs of our emotional maturity and understand the stages of its development, we will be more able to assess ourselves and appreciate our capabilities in handling a commitment.